Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize