you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize