Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
