its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
