The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
well you can't waste a boner
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
