i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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