im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize