the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
