Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
