I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize