i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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