You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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