Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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