Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
