i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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