But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
