i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
