i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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