I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Randomize
