I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
