just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
