clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
