Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
