I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
