How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
