You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
