and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
