Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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