I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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