Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
