walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
