I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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