What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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