Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
