I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
