i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
