My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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