Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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