He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
