This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
