He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
