So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
