I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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