the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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