U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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