im drinking this country out of the recession.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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