Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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