Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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