i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
