i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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