dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
