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I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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