Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
