Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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