i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
