i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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