Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
