I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
