Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
