i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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