I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
