Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
