Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
