why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
