Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
