i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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