why didn't you poke me back
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
