The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
