so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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