This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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