No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
