This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize