is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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