So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
