I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
